Long time...

It's been around 3years that I could not fast because of bad stomachache...but this year I have decided to fast and I hope that Allah will help me with my task Insha Allah.

Today we fasted and it felt great...although in Malaysia the body needs more water and I get more thirsty but still it totally worth fasting for the feeling in the Eftar time...

I will Allah bless all of us and help us with our tasks.

The coming Ramadan...

As you might know, Muslims all over the world fast one month a year and the month is called fasting month and the name is"Ramadan al Mobarak". During this month every Muslim that has reached a certain age and a certain situation should fast. The fasting period is from the sunrise to the sunset...during this period the fasting Muslim should not have anything and even should not smoke...this may seem tough but in fact it feels great specially in the sunset when you break the fast it feels like being an angle...it is like you are full of hope toward your creator to accept your apology for all your sins...

and we believe during this month all holy Quran our holy book has been sent to our prophet " Mohammad" peace be upon him.

There are three nights in this month that we believe the next year happenings and fate would be written on these nights by Allah our creator so we pray a lot on these nights to Allah to write us a good coming year...

I hope all of you have a great time in next Ramadan starting from the 1st August ...

I am feeling better

These days I am much better... and I am starting to cheer up for everything I have in my life...

Last night was a great night, we spent it with a family from my city in Iran and they were really friendly , we had a great dinner and we stayed out until around midnight...being with new people was exiting ...

I should start cleaning up every where at home since I will have some guests in 3weeks...and after that maybe (INSHA ALLAH) my mother and my aunt with her baby boy will come in September...so I have a lot of reason to be happy.Thank Allah...

I am thinking of new method to quit my bad habit of cracking my fingers...here is the list of things that I can do to remember not to crack my fingers:

1.wearing a ring as a reminder

2.growing my nails

3. whenever I remembered just stop cracking no matter how many of fingers have been cracked.

4.when I am under stress I just put my hands on my legs separately so one hand can not touch the other one...

If you have any information or experience on this habit would you please share?

فکرش هم عجیبه

باورم نمیشه...این مغز آدمیزاد عجب دستگاه جالبی هست...من بعد از اون دوران افسردگی که گرفته بودم و منی که خیلی محکم بودمم و اصلا با گریه رابطه نداشتم اشکم اومده بود لب مشکم...دیدم نمیشه اینجوری خسته شده بودم همش گریه...به خودم فرمان دادم که از این به بعد حق نداری گریه کنی...و واقعا الان دیگه دو هفته شده که گریه نکردم یه بغضی بعضی وقتها میاد و میره که من ندیده میگیرمش ولی کلا با این که میتونم به خودم و به مرکز فرماندهی بدنم مغزم فرمان بدم خیلی حس خوبیه...بنابراین به خودم فرمان دادم که حالم خوب باشه...و اگه دردی توی بدنم حس کردم ببینم واقعا درد وجود داره یا من دارم فکر میکنم که درد دارم...حالا حالم بهتره نه به عبارتی حالم خوبه...و خوشحالم

من خوشحالم

برای همین که هستم خوشحالم

پارسی می نویسم

نمی توانستم حال این روزهایم را با زبان بیگانه توصیف کنم...دیشب به این نتیجه رسیدم باید به دکتر روان شناس مراجعه کنم...متاسفانه آن هم مقدور نیست...به دلیل همین زبان...وقتی می گویند هیج کجا وطن نمی شود حق دارند.

بعد از فوت مصطفی که شهریور امسال می شود هشت سال...هشت ساااال...یک جور دلهره و نگرانی دائم با من هست...هر چه هم سعی می کنم خودم را متقاعد کنم که آرام باشم نمی شود...

کسی زنگ بزند نگران می شوم

کسی بی وقت روی خط چت بیاید نگران می شوم

خلاصه انگار گوش به زنگ خبر ناراحت کننده باشم با هر صدایی می پرم

و با اینکه می دانم منتظر هر چه باشی همان به سراغت می آید باز هم ...

و می دانم درد دوری این نگرانی ها را دامن می زند...

و این که من تقریبا این روزها خیلی بی کار هستم و فکر بی کار هم می رود معمولا سراغ غصه هایش...

باز هم خدا را شکر.

A new decision...

From now on there will be some posts in Persian...because there are some deep feelings in my heart that I am not capable of explaining them in English...